


Practical

by bakedgoldfish



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-02-22
Updated: 2003-02-22
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedgoldfish/pseuds/bakedgoldfish
Summary: Leo, Sam, and a big block ofcheese.  A post-ep.





	Practical

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Practical**

**by:** Baked Goldfish 

**Category:** Leo  
**Rating:** YTEEN for one half-bad word (but nothing you don't hear on the show)  
**Spoilers:** 100,000 Airplanes  
**Summary:** Leo, Sam, and a big block of cheese.  A post-ep.  
**Disclaimer:** So not mine.  Don't sue please.  


"You wanted to see me, Leo?" 

Down the hall a ways, the sounds of partying were still loud, despite the rather late hour.  This part of the west wing, however, was dark; there was one lamp lighting the good-sized office, the soft light casting most of the room in sharp contrasting shadows rather than illuminating it. 

Leo sat behind his desk, idly doing even more paperwork - some days, it seemed that the paperwork was never ending - but when he heard Sam's query, he looked up from the books and pulled his glasses off.  "Siddown, Sam," he said, pointing to the chair on the other side of his desk. 

Sam nodded.  "How're you feeling?" 

Shrugging, Leo said, "A little better.  You?" 

He smiled half-heartedly.  "Great.  I can't believe the numbers we've been getting." 

"Yeah," Leo replied, picking up on the uncharacteristic weariness in his speechwriter.  "I heard your ex was here, though." 

His already weak smile faltered, and he adopted an attitude of detachedness.  "Yeah.  It ... it was a little weird." 

"It always is," Leo murmured, half to himself.  Louder, he added, "I hadn't known it was that Lisa." 

"Yeah?" 

"If I'd known it was that Lisa ... I mean, her last name was Sherborne."  He shrugged.  "I didn't think it could've been her." 

Sam smiled weakly again, as if he'd heard the excuse before, and nodded tightly.  "Yeah." 

"Anyway, there's something else I wanted to say," Leo began. 

"Which is kinda weird now, since you haven't really been able to talk much for the past couple of weeks," Sam quipped.  "How'd you get rid of whatever you had, anyway?" 

Leo shrugged.  "Margaret brewed up some foul concoction and forced me to drink it, but it knocked that throat thing right outta me." 

Sam blinked in the startled way that only Sam could.  "The hell was in it?" 

Frowning, Leo said, "I'm not sure I wanna know." 

"That's ... probably the safest way to go.  She finally got tired of you not speaking, then?" 

"She says she got tired of the 'angry Post-its' I kept putting on her desk," Leo muttered.  "I didn't know Post-its could be angry."  He contemplated it for a moment, and Sam waited in silence.  Then, Leo shook his head to clear his thoughts and said, "I wanted to talk to you about the cancer thing." 

The sudden change of topic startled Sam, and the previously upturned corners of his mouth flattened out.  "What about it?" 

"I thought it was good," Leo said.  "You still have it?" 

Sam shook his head.  "I deleted it earlier tonight." 

"You deleted it?  Why?" 

Shrugging, he replied, "I don't know.  Wasn't really practical to have it on my hard disk if we were never gonna use it." 

"Wasn't 'practical'?" Leo balked.  "This from the guy who wanted to single-handedly clean up the Indio oil spill." 

Sam's whole body stiffened, and he sat up straighter.  "Leo-" 

"You know, Andrew Jackson had a two ton block of cheese in the White House foyer," Leo began, sitting back in his chair. 

"My God, you get your voice back and all of a sudden it's Torture Sam Day," Sam muttered. 

"Shaddup.  He had this block of cheese, and it was there for all who were hungry." 

Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes.  "Yeah.  I know." 

Leo leaned forward and wagged a finger at Sam.  "See, but you don't.  There's a part I always leave out, and nobody really thinks about it, I don't think." 

"What's that?" 

"Cheese smells." 

Sam blinked; within the past minute, he'd gone from nervous, to relaxed, to offended, and, now, to confused as hell.  He began to wonder just what it was that Margaret had forced Leo to take.  "I ... guess so," he stuttered. 

"That cheese wheel stank up the White House for months," Leo went on.  "The rugs were all pulled and stained - destroyed, really - from the massive crowds of people.  And all sorts of weirdoes came in, too, snake-oil salesmen, crazies, probably not too few ladies of the night-" 

Sam shook his head and held up his hands in protest.  "Stop, Leo, wait.  What're you talking about?" 

"It wasn't very practical, that big block of cheese," Leo replied, wearing an expression of apparent surprise that Sam hadn't gotten the drift from the beginning.  "I mean, the White House was fairly crapped over because of Jackson's little idealistic view.  Andrew Jackson wasn't really practical there.  Kennedy wasn't either.  Said he wanted to land on the moon by the end of the sixties."  Pointing his thumb at the Oval Office, he added, "That guy over there wanted to cure cancer in ten years.  I've known him for quite some time, and that's gotta be one of the most impractical things he's ever come up with." 

Sam stared at him, cynical.  "So, you're saying that since I wanted to leave the section in there-" 

"Yeah, you're kinda impractical, sometimes," Leo stated, nodding calmly.  "Toby's practical, and CJ.  Ed, Larry.  Margaret, oddly enough, is one of the most practical people I know." 

"What about Josh?" 

"Eh."  He shrugged, and then leaned forward.  "Here's what I'm saying, Sam: there are two reasons to do something, because it's practical, or because it's right.  Andrew Jackson didn't do what he did because he was practical.  Kennedy didn't either.  The President didn't look into curing cancer because he thought it was practical, you know?  They didn't do all that because it was practical.  People don't research reasons to not eliminate the penny because it's practical.  They don't write controversial, challenging speeches because it's practical.  They don't - you know.  They do it because they think it's the right thing to do at the time." 

Sam stared at him some more.  "Oh." 

"Anyway," Leo sighed, tapping a pen on the desk.  He glanced towards Margaret's office before looking back at Sam.  "Sherborne-Seaborn?" 

"Actually, it would've been Seaborn-Sherborne," he corrected matter-of-factly.  "She'd insisted." 

"Really," Leo muttered, only half interested.  "Why'd you two split up?" 

"We didn't really like each other that much." 

"Good a reason as any," Leo said, nodding.  "That all?" 

"Well ... "  Sam glanced at the Oval Office and gave half a smile.  "There was also that." 

"See?" Leo said, as if he were making a point.  "You quit your six-figure job, got on the road just for some guy ... " 

Sam was still staring at him.  "There's something seriously wrong with you tonight, Leo." 

"I haven't been able to speak to you ten-year-olds for almost two weeks," he countered gruffly.  "I've got quite a bit of pent up frustration here.  Especially about Toby and his damn pie." 

"He's not asking for pie anymore," Sam said helpfully. 

"Good, because I was about ready to shove a pie right up his ass," Leo grumbled.  

"That's an interesting visual there," Sam said, trying to shake said visual out of his head. 

"Yeah."  Leo picked up a folder and opened it.  "Go back to the party, I've got some things to finish up here." 

"You swinging by later?" 

"Maybe."  He waited until Sam had reached the door before adding, "Hey, Sam." 

"Yeah?" 

"The last thing I need on my staff is another practical person, you know." 

Sam paused at the door with one hand on the doorframe before calmly saying, "Margaret's turning you into a teddy bear." 

Looking a little thrown, Leo said, "Get out of here." 

"Seriously, with big fuzzy ears and little button eyes-" 

"Sam-" 

"All soft and cuddly." 

"You know, there's something really freakish about you," Leo snarled. 

"So I've been told," Sam replied brightly. 

"Out!" 

"Sure."  He walked back to the celebration at the end of the hall, with a slightly impractical spring to his step. 

-end- 


End file.
